Mental Health Issues: It might be you and not “them”

Since last week was Mental Health Week – I know this not because I am self-aware but only because I have seen several postings from Nikki et al at “Moms Who Drink and Swear” – which is a nationally recognized phenomenon now - (a blog, a book and a facebook page - probably soon a cable TV show - since there is so much swearing it has to go on cable), occasionally quite nasty blog, offensive to some but always funny and true - anyway, MWADS had several blog postings on the subject of Mental Health. Anyway it made me think - about my own journey - and that of my friends and relatives - and those small-ish and irritating people who suddenly developed an opinion about the age of two.  Also - lets not forget my husband - he has issues too.

According to the National Institutes of Health, about 1 in 4 adults are at any one time suffering from some sort of mental health issue.  As with many government statistics – this is certainly vastly under reported as this is likely based on those who are actually diagnosed – or who answered a survey.  In fact there are certainly thousands and thousands more with issues that they either will not see a doctor about – or refuse to admit it even to themselves – even if family and friends already know.

Unfortunately in today’s judgmental society, admitting that you have a mental disorder can disrupt many facets of your life.  First, it will likely affect your friendships – once your friends know that you have a mental disorder, they can hold it against you – be patronizing – disregard what you say, etc.  It may also affect your family relationships – "if you disagree with me, it must be because you aren’t taking your meds" – "are drunk or high" or "are just plain crazy which is "bull$hit" – or "I must make sure you are limited in your exposure to the outside world and therefore you are not allowed to drive or go anywhere by yourself" - or all of the above.

The worst thing that can likely happen, unlike Kay Jamison’s experience, Carrie Fisher’s experience, and all the other celebrities who “come out” with their mental and emotional issues, supposedly receiving worldwide support – social media will let others know just how sick you are (or not in the case of Anna Nicole) – even if you are getting treatment.  It can affect what college you get into, what job you get or destroy a job you already have.  It can also cause you to be suspect in the world arena – “What if he is about to ‘go off’…does he have a gun, a bomb, a knife? – maybe he will be the next mass murderer….”  Just admit it – all the recent news stories involving people doing weird, dangerous and violent stuff were either later claimed to be suffering from a mental disorder – or they are something much worse.  People “going off” because they are “fed up” must be classified – one way or another.

I am clearly not saying it is ok to “go off” – but I am saying that if you have sought treatment or acknowledge any kind of mental aberration, you are now suspect to being ridiculed, argued with, disregarded , or put on a list if you do so much as disagree with someone – it must be your illness.

The fact is that people disagree, people get angry at other people, people are insecure AND you can’t step outside your door without running into 10 people who have a mental disorder – just most of them haven’t admitted it yet.  EVERYONE and I mean EVERYONE has several relatives and several friends who have mental health issues.  You might also have one yourself – maybe you would know about it if you would just be a little bit introspective.  If you can’t look at yourself and see anything wrong, then you definitely have Narcissistic Personality Disorder – which means you also lean toward Borderline Personality disorder, Antisocial Personality Disorder and possibly are Bipolar or a Sociopath – or maybe just have ADHD.

See there – you are just a hair away from being a Psychopath – all because you can’t see yourself, because you are perfect and everyone around you are the crazy ones.

Truthfully, mental health disorders are vastly underdiagnosed – because they are overstigmatized.  They are also misdiagnosed and overmedicated – particularly in children.  If this irritates you - bear with me a bit.

How many boys (and girls) are diagnosed with ADHD, really just because they can’t go outside and play?  Schools have cut back on PE programs and in some places have outlawed recess or in the case of one public school in New England – have outlawed physical activities on the playground?  A recent issue of new stamps has been recalled because some of the activities were considered “too dangerous”.  These included normal kid activities like skate boarding and riding a bicycle.  How many kids have been diagnosed with an Autism Spectrum Disorder because they have never been taught to behave.

So now – we put our kids in pillows, never let them eat dirt or bugs – -let them pick their meals (usually chicken nuggets, french fries and soda are the choice), give them more than a hundred vaccines, making their immunity into crap, give them medication for ADHD or ignore their aberrant behavior – then call them names -  but never treat them during teen or early adult years – and we certainly don’t treat their parents because someone might think they are “off”.

For a lot of mental disorders – medication is not the answer.  In many cases, some good common sense – for example - postpartum depression could be handled a lot better if a woman had more help after giving birth – she would get more sleep and benefit from the advice and assistance with new-baby and normal household issues – creating a lot less anxiety.  Our society says – get off your a$$ and get back to work – NO MORE SOUP FOR YOU.

In many cases of ADHD – send them outside - stop tellling them to "be quiet".  In cases of Narcissism – a swift kick in the butt – you are not the center of the world.  In a lot of cases of chronic depression – set the alarm, open the curtains, get some coffee and get dressed – even if you don’t feel like it – moving will help stimulate the chemicals in your brain.

This is not to disregard the people who need medication or treatment because there are many real cases of AHDH, Autism, depression, bipolar disorder, addiction, schizophrenia etc.and as a pharmacist, I know the medications work, for some – but really my point is to destigmatize the existence of mental health disorders, because nearly everyone has at least one (probably 2 or 3 according to the DSM – if you don’t know what that is, google it since you are probably glued to the internet – this is known as internet addiction and can likely be treated with either an antidepressant or an amphetamine).

Just because someone disagrees with you, gets therapy, takes medication or just plain trips while walking doesn’t mean they are off their meds, crazy, high, drunk, developing medication side effects or are otherwise deranged.

Maybe the problem is that you should be diagnosed or maybe you either get them some help if they need it OR should just shut the fu(k up and mind your own beeswax – the probably weren’t talking to you anyway.